I, ME AND MYSELF

That Girl Is Me

2009-11-26T20:44:00.000-08:00

That girl in the mirror in the bathroom...

The girl who is seemingly laughing at a joke.
Look her in the eyes, and what do you see?
Sadness, anger, lies hidden by a porcelain mask.

That girl walking down the hallway, smiling.
Do you see that slump in her shoulders?
It's ever so slight, barely noticeable, but it's there.

The girl at the lunch table, laughing so hard.
A smile cracking her happy face to pieces.
But do you see that finger tracing her wrist?

That girl who talks about her family
Like they're the jewled devils of her being...
She hides scars on her back from the beatings.
And in her eyes, the scars each have a memory...
Permenantly implanted, stuck and captured.

That girl in the bathroom...That girl in the hall.
That girl at the table having such fun.
The girl who raves and rants praises about her family.

The girl with the sangfroid...The cold bloodedness.
That girl with the gray mixture of tears.
That girl with the scars on her back
And new scars forming from pink to white on her wrists.

That Girl is Me.

Falling Apart

2009-11-17T22:55:00.000-08:00

I've kept it hidden,
For so long.
I've pretended
To be okay.

But now its breaking through,
Pushing to the surface.
I'm falling apart.
Not sure how much longer,

This mask will last.
I'm falling apart,
Drowning in pain.
Don't want to live,

But I'm scared to die.
I'm falling apart.

Necrophobia:

2009-07-20T20:01:00.000-07:00

Negrophobia is the term used to describe the fear of corpses or dead things in general. Although sometimes used interchangeably, thanatophobia is the term used to describe the fear of one's own death or dying. The onset of this fear usually occurs among those with a predisposition to worry and those with family backgrounds of anxiety. Most likely, sufferers of Negrophobia experienced an intense panic attack at some point in their lives while being exposed to a corpse or a dead thing. As with all phobias, exposure could have also come in a second hand form such as television or radio broadcast. Nonetheless, the wiring of the brain caused the reaction to become a learned behavior. Although irrational, this fear is very real to the sufferer. When they are exposed to the stimulus, a panic attack ensues causing excessive perspiration, dry mouth, and high levels of anxiety, heavy breathing and even immobility. Many necrophobics have trouble sleeping and often experience the urge to run out of their beds at the slightest thought of death. Because of their fear, necrophobics tend to avoid situations where they may come into contact with the stimuli. This can cause an avoidance of family funerals, Treatments consist around the cognitive behavioral therapies common with most phobias such as exposure therapy, flooding and counter-conditioning. Hypnotherapy, neuro-linguistic programming and energy psychology are among the more alternative methods of treatment. Medications include anti-depression and anxiety pills used to treat panic attacks. These are a good short term answer to save one from an embarrassing episode. They are not, however, a good or permanent solution to any phobia.

A Beautiful Person

2009-06-29T11:29:00.000-07:00

She has little money to enjoy or spend

But to other people she is a good friend

To help out her poverty line neighbors she goes out of her way

And for her assistance she never asks for pay.

A very good person that's to give her fair due

And to her higher self she will always be true

If she cannot help you she will not drag you down

The quiet unsung heroine of a very small Town.

Single in her early fifties she lives on her own

A halo of goodness around her has grown

A beautiful person untainted by conceit or guile

She has warmth in her greeting and warmth in her smile.

The quiet unsung hero with few words to say

She helps some-one in need of help every day

Does her elderly neighbors shopping for him he's confined to a wheel-chair

She is a great person her type seem so rare.

Just to live as a good person is her only life's goal

This beautiful woman with a beautiful soul

Untainted by snobbery or guile or conceit

One like her one does not meet on every street.

A Boy or a Girl

2009-05-31T10:49:00.000-07:00

As the baby kicks around in her womb she wonders what he or she will be like. One thing she knows for sure this baby her mother and father will love unconditionally.

At first you moved,

only a little.

I could always find you,

right in the middle.

As time went on,

you really started to grow.

It wasn't a whole lot,i

n fact, it was rather slow.

Before I knew it,

you were all over the place.

It kind of felt like,

you were running a race.

People would ask me,

if, you were a boy or a girl.

I would sit and wonder,

if, you would have curls.

How much will you weigh?

How tall will you be?

What color is your hair?

Will you even like me?

Your Dad and I,

planned you from the start.

You, my dear child,

were made straight from our hearts.

There will be no one like you,

not any place in the world.

It really doesn't matter,

if you are a boy or a girl.

I hope I make you proud,

that I am your mother everyday.

Because, you have filled my dreams,

in more ways, than words can say.

It won't be long before,

I can look you in the eyes.

I can feel the excitement growing,

I know I'm going to cry.

Don't worry my angel,

those tears will be of joy.

It won't matter to me,

if you are a girl or a boy.

***

Our Need for Meaning

2009-05-19T05:45:00.001-07:00

It is important at this point that we distinguish clearly between meaning and purpose. We must distinguish without separating them. The purpose of anything we do is determined by its usefulness; not so the meaning. What a thing or an action means to me is determined not by its usefulness, but by my appreciation. Meaning is the value of even the useless. The things most meaningful to us are often superfluous. What would life be like without the glorious superfluities of flowers in your hair, of poetry, or simply of the candle we light at a festive meal, though there is plenty of electric light for utility? A mere operator has no appreciation for this. But again, we must distinguish without separating purpose from meaning. We need only watch a gondolier guiding his gondola through the traffic of a Venetian canal to realize that the perfect operator is a perfect dancer. There is nothing more universally meaningful.

We must go one step beyond usefulness and appreciation in distinguishing purpose and meaning. In order to accomplish a given purpose I must be able to control the situation. And in order to be in control I must first grasp what it is all about: ‘to grasp’ – that is the right word with regard to purpose. I must grasp all details firmly, take hold of them as of so many tools. But when it comes to meaning, what is there to be grasped? On the contrary, I must allow myself to be grasped by whatever it is, before it can become meaningful to me. As people sometimes says: “How does this grab you?” Only when it “grabs” you will it mean something to you. But there lies a risk. As long as I am in control, not much can happen to me. As soon as I allow reality to “touch me,” I am in for adventure. The quest for meaning is the adventure par excellence, and happiness lies in the thrill of this adventure.

When Someone You Love Has Hurt You

2009-05-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

How to Start over Fresh Again and Leave the Past in the Past?

" It happens far too often. Words can deal a fatal blow to a relationship. "

People say mean and hurtful things, sometimes intentionally; to hurt the person they love the most. Once the words are out, it's impossible to take them back. The pain and hurt is usually entirely too clear in the eyes of the person who was hurt.

Hurting words can come from spouses, best friends, coworkers, siblings, parents, etc. No matter who it is that hurts us, the fact is words can sting with a vengeance. Rather than hold on to something that's done and can't be changed, if we choose to let it go, chances are the relationship will heal and flourish.

Sometimes the hurt is so deep and remains embedded deeply within the heart of the person who was hurt, and they walk away from the relationship. Too often pride stands in between the person who did the hurting and the person who was hurt. Instead of trying to make amends and healing the relationship, pride takes over on both sides, and a once loving relationship is nothing but a memory. It doesn't have to be that way.

When someone has hurt us, it's all too easy to just throw our hands up and walk away from it all. That's the easy way out, but it's also the losing way. You and the person that hurt you both lose out because you lose each other. But if we stop and ask ourselves why the person said hurtful things to us to start with, it could help the situation immensely.

Sometimes, though not always, a person will say something that hurts because they are stressed out or going through really rough times. They use us as bouncing board, someone to vent their frustrations out. But rather than vent what's really going on, the stress comes out as hurtful words to us.

'The Eye' Movie Review

2009-04-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

A blind woman receives a double corneal transplant, only to realize that her new eyes allow her to see gruesome, supernatural images of death. She must unravel the mystery of the corneas' previous owner in order to make sense of the visions and perhaps make them stop.
Sydney Wells (Jessica Alba) is a blind classical violinist (We know she's blind because her eyes are cloudy; otherwise, I guess we'd assume she's just really inattentive.) who receives a corneal transplant to restore the vision she lost as a child when her sister, Helen (Parker Posey), "accidentally" shot a firecracker into her face. Soon after the surgery, though, Sydney begins to see shadowy figures. This isn't unusual, of course, since everything is shadowy to her, having just undergone a corneal transplant.
But these particular shadowy figures are different, ominous. The first one seems to lead the elderly woman in the hospital bed next to hers away one night. The next morning, Sydney finds out that the woman is dead. Even after her death, Sydney could swear that she sees the old lady, but then again, she's not sure of anything she sees because it's all so blurry. (To hammer this point home, we're treated to half an hour of footage shot with Vaseline smeared on the camera lens.)
Even when her vision clears, Sydney's visions don't cease -- not just the shadowy figures and the dead people, but also scenes from someone else's life: a stranger's room, flashbacks to another existence and FIRE! She has to convince her therapist, Paul (Alessandro Nivola), that she's not crazy (It helps that she's hot.) so he can help her track down the donor and solve the mystery of the haunted corneas.

To compromise or not to compromise

2009-04-19T05:10:00.000-07:00

Personal relationships have to negotiated somewhere along the way, and often the compromise can hurt everyone involved. In business relationships, compromise is easier because it is not personal, but a personal relationship it brings tears very often. What happens when a compromise turns out differently then expected?

Quality time between loving couples should never be compromised, but there are many ways to get quality time together without being physically together. I am talking about telephones, chatting online, and making the most of your time together when you finally do see each other.

So how does one compromise to lessen the damage felt by everyone involved? I had someone I love very much make a huge compromise to me, and it turned out way differently then I had ever imagined it would, and I so regret even opening my mouth.

If I had, any inkling that events would have turned out, as they seem to have then I would have not been a baby and whined about being lonely, for I made someone else very miserable. Relationships are all about compromise for sure but some things in a loving relationship should not be compromised at all.

You can compromise about things such as where to dine out and what form of entertainment that the two of you choose to do. That is a great way to reach an agreement so you both are happy. That is because in the end it is not really what you do but it is the quality of time spent together that matters.

Does it really matter which movie you see, or which restaurant you eat that day? No, it does not the only things that does matter is that you are spending time together. Spending quality time with someone you love is all that really matters. So if you enjoy both restaurants then go ahead and compromise, as they say it is no biggie.

When you compromise about anything that would hold a person back emotionally then it is huge problem. It should never be attempted or even contemplated. To hold back someone's personal growth is not only morally wrong, it is also very wrong to do to the relationship.

Always and Forever

2009-04-17T06:34:00.000-07:00

Always and forever,

I just want you to know.

I will always be there for you,

Know matter how far you go.

***

You can travel by the sea,

You can travel in the air.

By camel across the desert,

I will always be there.

***

Your knowledge astounds me,

I'm desperate to learn.

Take me to your places,

This time its your turn.

***

I will support your dreams and wishes,

Help them to come true.

I would walk along broken glass,

Just to be with you.

***

You are the sun in the sky,

A fish in the sea,

A song bird singing,

A big part of me.

***

I want you to know that i love you,

You will forever be in my heart.

You bless my live with so much pleasure,

Without you I'd fall apart.

Two hearts, One love

2009-04-16T09:46:00.000-07:00

I was born a dreamer

Seemed like every day

My mind came up with something new

But this time it's my heart

With a dream that's here to stay

There's a chance this one might come true

***

I could see me being with you

For the rest of my life

Two hearts, One love

And I could see you loving me too

Sure would be nice

Two hearts, One love, That's us

***

I can see my lucky stars when I gaze into your eyes

Twilight shadows hold as tenderly

It's so easy to imagine

You here by my side

As I turn out the lights and fall asleep

***

I could see me being with you

For the rest of my life

Two hearts, One love

And I could see you lovin me too

Sure would be nice

Two hearts, One love, That's us

Feelings of a New Bride

2009-02-26T06:06:00.000-08:00

While family and future in-laws squabble over the menu and the table decorations, brides are supposed to sit and smile and bask in the prospect of their happiness-even though that prospect is guaranteed to include the post-wedding depression that hits some 90 percent of women during their first year of marriage.

On your joyful wedding day,

You begin a brand new life.

Friends and family give their gifts

to joyful husband, blissful wife.

But the greatest gift you'll ever get,

A gift from heaven above,

Is love forever, ending never,

Everlasting love.

You'll share life's joy and pleasure;

You'll have plenty of that, it's true.

But love is the real treasure

For your new spouse and you.

And if life hands you challenges,

As it does to one and all,

Your love will hold you steady

And never let you fall.

Your wedding day is full of joy;

Tomorrow you cannot see.

But one thing's sure for the two of you:

The best is yet to be.

Wedding poems often talk about a happy start to a lifetime of happiness, as this wedding poem does.

I Am Nervous About Getting Married

2009-02-20T11:10:00.000-08:00

My fiancé and I are getting married. Things are going well for us. I am feeling nervous about our upcoming marriage. I’ve also been having difficulty sleeping at night and when I do fall asleep, I wake up feeling very anxious after having a bad dream. My fiancé keeps trying to get me to talk about it, but I don’t want to. We have a good relationship.

Many people see marriage as an ideal; two people in love that promise to be faithful and committed in a lifetime partnership while surmounting all difficulties. I have been dating my fiancé for about 3 months. He is kind and good to me. But honestly, I can't figure out why I am so nervous about it.

system crashed :(

2009-02-19T20:52:00.000-08:00

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,

and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,

then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

---

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,

and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't has,

then your situation's hopeless and your system's going to crash!

---

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,

says the network is connected to the button your mouse,

but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,

that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,

so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,

then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's going to hang!

---

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,

and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,

then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.

Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom.

Frustrated, Irritated, Disconnected

2009-01-26T10:52:00.000-08:00

I've felt the hell
Please help me, hold me
This life I'll never tell
Sometime soon my wish will come true
because the end is near
but you see my eyes through the tears
One fake face after another
Love the haters
I don't wanna be like that
where no one's real
I hate how that would feel
Frustrated, Irritated
Disconnected from it all
I'm asking, I'm pleading
for one thing that's real
To you I'm giving in
Come take me, Come save me
I want to start again
I'll open my broken heart
Because I've reached the end
And you are the way to begin
___

I've seen a million empty smiles
Living in denial
I don't wanna live like that
where nothing's real
I hate how it is to feel
Frustrated, Irritated
Disconnected from it all
The weight of the world
Has pushed me to the wall
I'm breaking, I'm aching
for something beautiful
All the riches in this world
Couldn't fill this great big hole
It takes something so much more
Only you can take me
You can make me whole
___

The Republic day of India

2009-01-25T11:33:00.000-08:00

The Republic day of India commenced from 26 January, 1950 signifies the transition of India from a British dominion to a Republic and in the present days is considered as a national holiday. The day also signifies the adoption of the Constitution of India. It is regarded in the present days as one of the three national holidays in India. It is also the day when the entire country realized the dream of Mahatma Gandhi and the numerous freedom fighters who, fought for and sacrificed their lives for the Independence of their country. To mark the importance of the occasion the Republic Day is celebrated with a lot of enthusiasm all over the country and especially in the capital New Delhi, where the celebrations are initiated with the Presidential to the nation. But this is also followed by the solemn reminder of the role and sacrifice of the martyrs who died for the sake of the country in the freedom movement and also in the succeeding wars for the defense of sovereignty of their country.

In addition, a grand parade is held in all the state capitals along with the capital to commemorate the incident. The different regiments of the Army, the Navy and the Air force participate in the march past in all their finery and official decorations at best. There are also displays representing the different states of the country. The poignant exhibits are found becoming emblem of the activities of the people of the very state along with the efficient presentation of music and songs. It is found that each display brings out with it the multiplicity and richness of the culture of India and the whole show lends a festive air to the occasion. At the same time the patriotic fervor of the people on this day is specially felt and brings the whole country together even in her indispensable miscellany. From the Kashmir in the north to Tamil Nadu in the south, Maharashtra to Manipur, each and every part of the country is represented in occasion. It makes the people proud of their country and also reminds them of the conviction of the slained martyrs in the battlefields of the freedom struggle and wars.

VANDE MATARAM

JAI HIND

Is Sacrifices Necessary In Relationships?

2009-01-23T09:43:00.000-08:00

Ask anyone who's been in a relationship for any length of time and they're likely to tell you that adjustments and sacrifices are part and parcel of any relationship. Not just in a marriage or a long term relationship with your lover, but even with your parents, siblings or with friends - sacrifices are unavoidable. But are such sacrifices really important to a relationship? Do bonds become stronger with adjustments and sacrifices?

People with a modern outlook towards relationships feel that one should not have to make sacrifices to keep any relationship going. If the other person loves you, they should not demand sacrifices from you, nor should they expect it. Someone who expects you to give up things that you love, or change the way you are doesn't truly love you.

An experience person says that Sacrifices and adjustments can have a very positive impact on a relationship. Not just big adjustments such as leaving your job to be at home with the kids; but even smaller sacrifices such as doing your partner's chores or agreeing to your partner's choice of restaurant can help to strengthen and improve a relationship.

But here's the key - whatever big or small adjustments or sacrifices you make should not be out of obligation or compulsion but should be because you love your partner (or mother, friend, sister) and because you are genuinely interested in keeping the relationship strong.

Any adjustment or sacrifice that arises out of a concern for your partner or for the relationship constitutes as pro-relationship behavior. People who indulge in such behavior out of their free will are much happier in their relationships than those people who do make sacrifices but make them because they are pressured or feel compelled to adjust.

Not just the person making the adjustments, but even their partners will be much happier in the relationship if they can sense that the sacrifices are born out of love and concern. If someone feels that their partner is making adjustments due to obligation and not because they really want to, then such sacrifices cannot make any relationship stronger.

Thus, what motivates a person to make sacrifices in the relationship is the main question.

Well, the reason why relationships can seem rosy on the outside but are not very satisfying is because the people involved are making adjustments due to obligation. A wife or a husband who feels compelled to adjust all the time generally feels a lot of resentment for even the smallest of sacrifices. The relationship seems ok because the adjustments are being made. But over time, the resentment festers and finally the cracks start showing in the relationship.

Thus, it is very important to know what motivates you to adjust. If you feel even the slightest bit of unhappiness making sacrifices, it is best not to keep making them but talk to your partner about your feelings.

There is no doubt that adjustments and sacrifices can go a long way towards strengthening any relationship provided you adjust for the right reasons - namely love!

A perfect pair

2009-01-20T09:58:00.001-08:00

I’m glad I have a friend like you.
I’m so glad you’re here.
I can tell you anything at all,
That’s why I hold you dear.
I found a place to escape,
It’s safe and warm inside.
It’s in your loving arms of friendship,
the best place for me to hide.
We are best friends,
The perfect pair!
We never fight,
we always share.
Of all the friends that I have,
There is one thing that I know.
You’re the best, and that’s a fact,
‘Cause I know you’ll never go.
When I’m sad and lonely,
I can count on you to be there.
Because I know you love me,
and because I know you care.

I wanna be free

2009-01-18T10:14:00.000-08:00

All my life

I've followed signs

On many a road

***

Tried to find

What was right

And do what I'm told

***

But sometimes

You cross the line

And never can go back home

***

I've been here

And I've been there

Always on the go

***

Looking for

Something more

To call my own

***

Up to now

I have found

That life as a

whole was cold

***

'Cause I've never belonged

***

I wanna be free

And live without warning

I wanna finally see

What it's like on

the other side

***

I wanna be free

'Cause a new day is dawning

I only wanna be me

I wanna show the

world I'm alive

***

Who's to say

I need change

And I am not what I'm not

***

Look at me

And what you see

Has been through a lot

***

Now it's time

For me to find

What love's

really all about

And all that I've

lived without

***

Tired of Being Lonely

2009-01-18T05:37:00.000-08:00

Tired of living in this homeless house,

Sitting in this empty chair,

Breathing this lonely air,

Accompanied with these dreadful tears,

***

Blurry dreams of togetherness,

Torn apart by confident reality,

LOVES' absent fidelity,

Seems to have -beheaded me,

***

In my hearts' wilderness roams a wilder beast of pain,

Queen of her land never to be slain,

For her companionship is thee only one that could tame,

'Till then she remains,

Toying with my feelings as if it was just a game,

***

See i have no one to call my own,

Just wishes of a relationship,

So tired of being alone,

I pray to sleep with happiness...

***

“I just can’t understand how people spend all time sitting alone at home!”

"You don't Understand"

2009-01-14T07:35:00.000-08:00

I don't think you understand,

Then again many don't,

But I thought you would understand,

Then again I guess you won't.

***

Is it that you don't trust me?

Like my father did before?

Why has it change?

Or maybe you just changed more.

***

It doesn't have to be this way.

Why are you torturing me?

Little by litttle my minds gone insane.

I'm crying can't you see?

You are supposed to be the one to wipe up my tears,

***

But now its all you to blame,

You are supposed to be the one to chase away my fears,

but now your the place from which they came.

I really don't think you understand,

Things arn't as they seem,

I can't try to make you understand,

Cause you just won't listen to me.

You just don't understand.

“Most people don't understand me not because they can't it's just that they won't try.”

How to be Happy and Have Fun Changing the World?

2009-01-12T05:28:00.000-08:00

Little progress can be made by merely attempting to repress
What is evil; our great hope lies in developing what is good.

To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order;
To put the nation in order, we must put the family in order;
To put the family in order, we must cultivate our personal life;
And to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts right.

The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will
be his world and the world at large.

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed;
If in terms of ten years, plant trees;
If in terms of 100 years, teach the people.

If enough individuals were always truthful, positive and helping others, would it change the world we live in? You know it would.

The only possibility that this will happen depends on you and millions of others like you. If you want to have fun helping to change the world, start with yourself by doing your best to live the Daily Affirmation 100% and recommend others to read my post and do the same.

I’m sure that everyone at some time in his or her life was taught to be truthful, positive and to help others. However, there is a huge difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it without exceptions. Olympic athletes win Gold Medals not by knowing what to do. They win them because they practice doing the right things over and over and over again until it becomes a part of them.

This same principle applies to you and everyone else. It’s not what you know. It’s what you do that counts and makes a difference in your life. Knowing the Daily Affirmation is one thing, but saying and living it over and over and over again will make it a part of your life. Your life will become a positive example for others to follow. They will feel your energy and want to feel the same way.

Over-passiveness can break relationship:

2009-01-10T20:45:00.000-08:00

When love generates in the initial stages each other wants to behave accordingly to their taste of their partner. When the closeness develops obviously one thinks that he/she belongs only to them which is generally known as passiveness, but it creates distance between both in the near future. Because in passiveness you demand everything should be done according to your wish or liking which surely hurts your partner. If your love wants to be strengthened try to give her/him more comfort from your end, so that she/he will be happy in your companionship and makes her/his mind only for you. If you are so caring for her/him, try to give more from your side by expecting less from your end. I think this type of attitude will surely built strong and healthy relationship.

Possessiveness will be counterproductive and may land you in grief in the long run. At that time it may be too late to even regret. While it could be construed as love from your side and may thrill your girl friend/boy friend/wife/husband no end for all the attention she/he is getting from you, in time to come it may prove an irritant to her/him. It would even put her/him off. She/he may come to resent it because that is when she/he will feel that you are monitoring her/his every action and deed. So go easy, and don't get over-possessive.

To possess means to own. Do we own our partner? Do we own their time? Are they our slaves? If you ask anybody these questions, you will hear a definite no. But some of those who say no may be very possessive about their partner. The relationship breaks down after sometime hurting both the partners very badly. Why are some people so possessive? Is that a complex of some kind? Are they afraid that their partner may be snatched away by somebody else? Or do they want their partner to spend all the time with them and no body else? Does suspicion come in to picture? Suppose you come across some emails of your partner. Would you look at them? Would you then ask your partner about the mails? What if your partner is late on a day? Are you happy to see them back or you are angry about their coming late? Do you demand the explanation for being late? If your partner is speaking on phone in a low voice, does that make you feel suspicious? Do you suspect that they may be speaking with their past lover? If someone sends an invitation to your partner for some party, do you insist that they should not go alone? Those who are possessive will try to control every minute of their partner’s life. They never allow the partner to use anything gifted to them by anybody else. They do not want the partner to talk about the past. They rather hate that. They treat themselves as the superior of their partner and try and control every activity. In the end the partner refuses to take this any more and the relationship breaks-up.

To love somebody is a great feeling. But the result of love should be pleasure for both the partners. If one partner feels like an animal in cage, that is not true love. This is how I am feeling these days.

He mends me!!!

2009-01-07T02:41:00.001-08:00

Look at me I'm not the girl I used to be

When he smiles at me

I live the light I used to see

There he goes and I know

On my own

I'm not whole
Can't believe

he can't see

That he's taken the best part of me
I'm half a girl with half a heart

With nothing left to tear apart

Half of me is walking 'round

The other half is on the ground

He mends me
What's to see I had it all in front of me

It's all on me

All in the name of vanity
There he goes and I know

On my own

I'm not whole
Can't believe he can't see

That he's taken the best part of me
I'm half a girl with half a heart

With nothing left to tear apart

Half of me is walking 'round

The other half is on the groundHe mends me
Tell me where I am

nothing else can replace him

how do i go on the way I am
I'm half a girl with half a heart

With nothing left to tear apart

Half of me is walking 'round

The other half is on the ground

He mends me.

Things can be settled calmly in relationships

2009-01-02T02:51:00.000-08:00

It is normal for a couple to quarrel at times. The fight may be caused by some misunderstanding or it may be because of some things such as incompatibility of interests or mistakes. One of the most difficult things to do after a hot fight or argument is to make up. Mending up things after a hot argument is crucial for a relationship. This will allow you to start over again and can even help in fostering a stronger bond in the relationship. If you and your man has just gone through an argument and you do not know how to make up with your man after a fight, here are some tips on how to mend up things after a hot argument:

Say sorry. There may be different means to mend up things after a fight but nothing beats the traditional and classical way of saying sorry. The best thing to show to your boyfriend or husband that you want to make up with him is to say sorry. Saying sorry is very difficult and challenging most especially if you are prideful enough and you believe that you were not the one who committed the mistake. Saying sorry does not mean you are wrong. It simply means you are sorry and you feel bad for hurting your man. Saying sorry also implies the message that you do not want to hurt and causes your man trouble. If you have had a fight and you want to end it up, go ahead and say sorry to your man.

Talk to him. If you find saying sorry very difficult, you will find it easier to “just talk” to your man as if something did not happen. You can start up a conversation such as by asking him if he wants to eat or if he is hungry. If things seem to be normal again, it is best to talk about the problem calmly so you will be able to settle the problem more efficiently.

Moving too fast in relationship

2009-01-01T09:31:00.000-08:00

It takes two:
Communicate your thoughts with your partner and work together to steady the pace of your relationship.
Give yourselves some space:
Being your own person and focusing on your own interests can only help a relationship grow.
Relationships can move too slowly, too:
You might have a problem if you’ve been dating for a long time, and you’re not moving toward commitment as a couple.
Make decisions on your own:
If you can’t make a decision without the input of the person you are dating, things are definitely moving too fast between the two of you.
Stay in touch with friends and family:
A major sign that a relationship’s pace is off is that you no longer see anyone other than the person you’re dating.

Happy new year 2009

2008-12-31T05:00:00.000-08:00

H ours of happy times with friends and family

A bundant time for relaxation

P rosperity

P lenty of love when you need it the most

Y outhful excitement at lifes simple pleasures

N ights of restful slumber (you know - dont' worry be happy)

E verything you need

W ishing you love and light

Y ears and years of good health

E njoyment and mirth

A angels to watch over you

R embrances of a happy years!
2 0 0 9

New Year New Life

2008-12-29T07:09:00.000-08:00

I told good bye to that old life

A new life I am living now

I told good bye to that old me

Now I am a new person

You haven’t seen me since

I don’t need any medication anymore

It is a miracle that my depression is gone

I am free

And I don’t have it anymore

A new life

I am enjoying it

Meeting new people

A new life

Full of new friends

A new life to share with that someone I love

A new life

I don’t want to miss another day

After all a new life is here

For now I will be single

But for not too long

Because I have found the one I love

A new life

Full of romance coming my way

A new life

Full of reasons to celebrate

A new life

A time to pray

So that me and my soul can be in peace

A new life

I want to walk down the road

And breathe that fresh air

I want to paint the sky blue

And the grass and the flowers yellow

And I want to paint the strawberries red

A new life

For me has just begun

How beautiful the turning of the year!

A moment artificial yet profound

Point upon an arbitrary chart

Passing like a breath upon the heart,

Yearning with anticipation wound,

New hope in old-fashioned cheer.

Even when the boundary line is clear,

We recognize the oneness of the ground.

Years, like circles, do not end or start

Except we lay across their truth our art,

Adjusting dates as they go round and round

Revolving to a tune long sung and dear.

रब ने बनादी जोड़ी( Rab ne bana di jodi)

2008-12-22T07:57:00.000-08:00

Rab ne banadi jodi. On of the best movie so far.

Surinder "Suri" Sahni (Shahrukh Khan) is an introvert, responsible and sincere cubicle worker for Punjab Power. Tania "Taani" Gupta (Anushka Sharma) is an extrovert, flamboyant and vivacious, set to get married to the guy she loves. When her fiancee is killed in a bus accident on their wedding day, and her professor father suffers a massive heart attack as a result, Taani's father asks Taani and the visiting Surinder, his longtime favorite student, to marry so that Taani will not be alone after he is gone. The couple agree, and Taani finds herself in a routine and loveless marriage in Amritsar. Unbeknownst to her, however, Suri had fallen in love with her at first sight, though he remains too shy to tell her.

To escape her mundane marital life, Taani, with Suri's blessing, begins participating in a dance class and competition with the reality television show Dancing Jodi. Surinder, with the help of his childhood friend Balwinder "Bobby" Khosla (Vinay Pathak), a hair-saloon owner, metamorphoses into an alter ego he calls Raj. Raj is a loud, rude, outspoken and fun-loving person. He joins the dance class and by chance — or, as he believes, by divine intervention — becomes Taani's partner in the competition.

Taani, unable to recognize that Raj is Surinder (sans mustaches and glasses, and with a different hairstyle, clothing and demeanor), eventually starts to feel that Raj's personality and nature are more in tune with hers. Despite Raj's initial crudeness — a result of Surinder's inexperience with women and his trying to emulate "cool" images from the movies — the two become friends. After Raj eventually declares his love for her, a torn Taani resists but finally capitulates. Raj offers to elope. On the day of the competition, Taani believes she sees a sign from God telling her that Surinder is the one for her. That night, before the competition, she tells Raj she wants to stay with her husband. When the time comes for the couple to dance on stage, Raj is nowhere to be found — but Surinder appears instead at which point, she comes to know the truth between Surinder and Raj.

Happiness

2008-12-12T08:04:00.000-08:00

happiness is bliss

happiness, is when you get a new puppy
happiness, is when you get married
happiness, is when you go on you first date
happiness, is making your own decisions
happiness, is graduating
happiness, is getting you first job
happiness, is falling in love
happiness is being proud of who you are
happiness is bliss
happiness, is glowing
happiness, is fun
happiness, is an amazing feeling
happiness, is when you smile all day
happiness, is giving someone a hug just because you can
happiness, is that light in your eyes
happiness, is what makes the world go around
happiness, is bliss

"BE HAPPY AND STAY HAPPY"

" Changes - A Quater Life Phenomena (Part 3)."

2008-12-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

~~~

Love to the next level, lovers budding…
Marriage’s door well anticipated
Couple senses the power of connection…
Desiring more party of soul mate

~~~

Intention of intendeds manifest…
Blooming for tomorrow onwards in time
Compatibly longing partnership…
Promising future with hearts confident

~~~

Maturing commitments in world of love…
Intimate assurance adoringly
Progressing spirits to positive means…
Kisses with meaning, and hugs enduring

~~~

Beings purposefully linked by function…
Jointly agreeable to peace servings
Rite of passage to true love and duty
Craving for the one; the other partner

~~~

Sights treasuring what’s priceless and beloved
On the same page accepting together
Engaged in the life of romance…
Feeling presence of more growing treasure

~~~

" Friends, today was my Big Day. On this day I got engaged with Ravi Kumar. Hoping that your blessing and wishes will be with us for life. "

" Changes - A Quater Life Phenomena (Part 2)."

2008-11-30T18:54:00.000-08:00

Getting engaged is one of the happiest and romantic times of your life. Whether you have been courting for just a few weeks or a few years you are jointly making both a personal and public commitment to get married and to spend the rest of your lives together.

Getting 'engaged to be married', to give it its full title, has its roots firmly in the past. In days of old, the engagement period was a time to negotiate a 'bride-price' since the family of the women was losing a working member of the family and they had to be compensated for her loss. Centuries later, the situation was reversed with fathers paying their future son-in-law a payment or 'dowry' to marry off their daughter. The engagement then became a time to agree the dowry and to collect the bride-to-be's possessions (her trousseau). Fortunately today, matters are much simpler and the engagement period is a busy and exciting time where the betrothed couple plans their wedding day and gets prepared for married life.

All I wanted to say that is this:

A Moment like this

some people waits a lifetime for a moment like this.

Some people search forever for that one special kiss.

I can’t believe its happening to me.

Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

Everything changes, but beauty remains.

Something so tender I can’t explain.

Well I may be dreaming but till I awake. Can we make the dream last forever?

And I'll cherish all the love we share for a moment like this.

Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

Some people search forever for that one special kiss.

I can’t believe its happening to me.

Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

The speed of waiting love of all

I want to know that will you catch me when I fall?

So let me tell you this.

Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this...

Some people search a lifetime for a moment like this.

Some people search forever for that one special kiss.

I can’t believe its happening to me.

Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

Mumbai is in terror.

2008-11-27T12:29:00.000-08:00

A future transformed into the past / Hope that became tears / for is this not one path / to becoming part of this land

Multiple sites in the Indian city of Mumbai have been attacked with bombs and gunfire in a coordinated terror attack. The Times of India has reported at least 80 people dead and 250 injured in at least seven separate attacks.1 Gunmen reportedly opened fire at several sites throughout the city, including a crowded train station, a popular restaurant and several luxury hotels.

Between the roar of the explosion

and the sound of weeping

tears, there are no longer lives.

Innocent people are killed

Many are injured.

A future transformed into the past

Hope that became tears

for is this not one path

to becoming part of this land.

How terrible and how painful it is

that the fate of people in this land

is sealed with blood and fire.

Car bombs in Mumbai

and tragedy in New Delhi

Do we pass muster now?

A question is for all.

May we now taste again

some cheese and take a sip of wine

or do we have to wait until

another tragedy still?

“ Today, we expect that many educators will want to create a memorial ceremony for the victims of the horrific bombing outside a discotheque at Mumbai on Thursday night, At this moment let us voice our total condemnation of this cruel, murderous act designed to kill and wish to be part of a commemoration with a special message: that we share in the grief of the families and their suffering. Let us convey our condolences and pray for the recovery of the injured victims. Let us wish to pray for the safety of Mumbai and peace for the Maharashtran State. ”

THE NOTORIOUS MOSQUITO

2008-11-26T21:11:00.000-08:00

On my bed I was asleep,

My sleep was sound and deep,

I was disturbed by a mosquito

It came as confident as a hero.

It first came on my hand

for a long time did it stand

I tried to hit it

But it escaped my hit.

It then came on my face,

My hand went towards it with full pace

I tried to hit it again

But my attempt was in vain.

At last it came on my shoulder,

My hand hit it like a boulder,

The mosquito could not fly,

At last it did die.

I felt that I was a real hero

who killed the notorious mosquito

ज़िन्दगी (Life)

2008-11-26T10:49:00.000-08:00

ARTIST: HARIHARAN

ALBUM: KAASH
SONG: ZINDAGI (LIFE) झूम ले / Jhoom le (Original Title)

झूम ले हस बोल ले प्यारी अगर है ज़िन्दगी

साँस के बस एक झोंके का सफ्हर है ज़िन्दगी

देर ही बनते बिगड़ते कुछ इसे लगती नही

फूल की दीवार पर शबनम का घर है ज़िन्दगी

अजनबी हालात से भी हसके मिलना चाहिए

हर कदम पर मुड़ने वाली रह गुज़र है ज़िन्दगी

ज़िन्दगी में जो करना चाहता है कर गुज़र

क्या ख़बर बरसों की है या लम्हा भर है ज़िन्दगी

English translation (Tried level best)
Be happy and stay happy if you think life is precious.
Live every minute of it as life journey is delicious.
Ups and downs come and go; life doest effect.
On the wall of flowers, life is like home of a beautiful queen.
Talk with a smile even with a stranger,
In every step of your journey, life takes U-Turn.
In life, do what ever you want to do,
Who knows that, you will live long or you will have little amount of life.

" The Dreaming Dreamer "

2008-11-23T06:00:00.000-08:00

While the clock is steadily ticking

My eye is steadily twitching

And the ticking, tocking clock that's ticking

Can't take the hint that I am hinting

If I could break the clock

(And make sure it ticks its very last tock)

I could sleep the sleep my dream is dreaming

And NOT dream of clocks that start my ears steaming

Relieved, not peeved, they would soon be deeming

Me, the ever dreaming dreamer.

But when I sock the clock a mighty wack

the infernal clock just socks me back!

And the swaying ticker that makes me bitter

Mocks and mocks with its never ceasing ticks and tocks

The day goes on with that ticking sound

And upon my face is a mighty frown

That deepens and deepens as the clock ticks more

Ever more insistent than it was before

The night comes yet still I sit,

For who can sleep with that tocking twit

Ticking and tocking until who knows when

But back to the matter, I'll say it again;

If I could break the clock

(And make sure it ticks its very last tock)

I could sleep the sleep my dream is dreaming

And NOT dream of clocks that start my ears steaming

Relieved, not peeved, they would soon be deeming

Me, the ever dreaming dreamer.
--

The Ghost and the Darkness

2008-11-21T08:49:00.000-08:00

Within the darkest of dungeons

and much to my chagrin

I found an empty passageway

Except for a ghost within

He looked at me, excitedly

He danced about the hall

He stopped and glared into my eyes

I could not help, but fall.

I was fearful, almost tearful

of what I cannot explain

a sound was coming toward me

the sound of a rattling chain.

The ghost was advancing toward me

Swaying about his stance

He smiled at me and then he said

May I have this dance?

I could not help but wonder

why he asked me this

but when I stood to dance with him

He said he only wanted a kiss.

I heard that chain still rattling

I heard a moan come from above

I didn't want to kiss the ghost

Until he called me his Ladylove

This ghost of darkness, how could it be

That he could make me feel

A love that I have never felt

And have it feel so real

He leaped at me, but faltered

He could not stand upon his feet

For he didn't have any there, you see

He was nothing but a sheet. :(

***

Untitled

2008-11-20T10:21:00.001-08:00

I am on a ship which is not allowed to sail
They put me into the custody and cancelled my bail
I tried to come out of it but every time I fail
How can you put an innocent into jail?

The only thing which I hated
Is that I’m always been overprotected
I am still alive but seem to be departed
My wishes went unnoticed
And dreams shattered

You asked me to be strong and bold
I tried to do what you have told
When ever I put my step forward
I was neglected and scold

My Brother

2008-11-19T09:11:00.001-08:00

" My Brother "

(Dedicated to my brother)

***

When I think about my big brother

one word stands out above all the rest

Love

I have a special bond with him that I share with no other

We finish each other's sentences

Can make each other laugh with just a look

Another word that comes to mind is

Adoration

I was the little sister that would follow him anywhere

When I turned five and went to school

I would sit on the swing and wait right there

Until he finally came home

Now that we're older and somewhat wiser

Another word that comes easily to my mind is

Respect

I respect the man that he has become

the difficult choices he's had to make

And I never thought it possible

But I love him all the more

***

Being Independent (part 1)

2008-11-18T12:17:00.000-08:00

Independence can be a very personal thing! You have to decide how independent you want to be and what independence means to you. It doesn’t always mean living alone and it’s not just about where you live. Independence includes things like good decision-making and learning about all of the areas in your life where you can take charge!

Independence doesn’t mean you have to be alone and make decisions by yourself. Something that’s really important to know is this:

“We are all INTER-dependent.”

What does that mean? It means no one has to be on their own without any help or support. Our ultimate goal should be interdependence. That means having the drive to tackle our goals alone, but also having the wisdom to ask for helps when we need it.

We all need some support from friends and family to get to where we are going, to reach our goals, and to get a little help when we’ve dug ourselves into a hole! So you can be independent and interdependent at the same time. Hey, a good support is one thing that makes being independent a lot easier.

Knowing it's Important:

Most of us want to be more independent some day. Just about every teen at The Youth hood has talked about moving out on their own and having their own place. But one thing we’ve learned is that making plans early is important so that you have more choices. If you wait until the last minute, you might have to settle for what is available rather than what you want.

Having a safe, comfortable, and convenient place to live makes lots of other things in life easier, like finding a good job, making friends, and getting involved in your community.

Understanding all of the other things that go into living independently is the key.

Being Independent (part 2)

2008-11-18T12:16:00.000-08:00

Making Decisions:

There are a lot of decisions you have to make if you want to be independent. That means you have to think about and explore a lot of ideas -- things like where to live, whether or not to live with someone else, whether or not your job can support you. It’s easy to take this stuff for granted when you’re growing up and your parents take care of things. But becoming independent means you have to start making decisions about these things. So you have to start learning skills for good decision-making. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

But how do you learn to make good decisions? There are lots of ways to make decisions:

· You can guess and hope you are right (not good).
· You can ask someone else and then do what they say (Now, why would you want to do that?).
· You can ask for advice from a bunch of different people and then try to pick the answer that sounds right (getting a little better).
· You can talk it over with someone you trust (good idea).
· You can practice with decisions that aren’t too important so you can start to feel more confident (great idea).
· You can talk it over with someone, list the ideas that sound the best, do some role playing, then pick the best solution based on your information gathering (okay, this sounds excellent).
· You can just sit there and let the world pass you by and let others make all the decisions for you (if you picked this answer, we have some serious work ahead of us).

Having a Disability:

Having disability doesn’t mean you can’t live independently or be independent in other areas of your life. Many young adults with disabilities choose their own apartments. Some young adults are even buying houses, townhouses, or condominiums because they planned ahead!

At The Youth hood, lots of teens with disabilities live independently in their own places by themselves or with roommates. Some live independently but are still at home with their families.

Being independent isn’t easy. You have to work hard to make it happen. If you plan ahead, get help with your planning, and make sure you have a plan for the support you need, you can make it happen!

" Changes " – A Quarter Life Phenomena

2008-11-17T22:35:00.000-08:00

‘Mum I think I don’t intend to marry right away’. I guess this is one line, every mother dreads when you reach marriageable age. I am no exception in this case. All was well till I was studying and the minute I am into graduation hell broke on me. Every day I am asked the same question ‘when will you marry’ from my near and dear ones, when my facial muscles start showing slight trepidation the next question is quickly shot. ‘Do you have someone in your mind’?

Phew!! Ladies and gentleman welcome to the world of mid 20’s a time of your life when you become financially independent, when your aspirations are soaring high, when the world is not enough for you. When suddenly pop stars and Hollywood / Bollywood actors are no longer your idols and the likes of Bill Gates seems like iconic figures for you. And amidst all these ambitious dreams you are frequently awaken to reality and coaxed with that appalling line of marriage. This period of life with a sobriquet ‘Quarter life’ is a stretch where you experience radical changes in all aspects of your life and like everyone else I find these changes creeping in my lifestyle.

With changes I refer to all the subtle changes, the essential changes, the ego boasting changes, and the ego crushing changes. I pen down some of the illustrations of all these changes that have come in my life as swiftly as if they were with me right from birth.

With subtle changes I refer to the changes which are bound to happen, when you start earning. For instance one has to pay taxes and do tax returns at the end of the year which until now was just a theoretical concept learnt during exams and forgotten the very next day. This now is a kind of yogic kriya which you got to do in order to lead a peaceful and calm life. Paying bills, buying grocery a concept so alien turns out to be as much a reality as your own existence.

The Essential changes are the ones that had to come if one has to survive the quarter life. So you are more concerned about the nutrients intake for your body, whose onus till recently was on your mother but now becomes a part of your daily thoughts for the very simple reason one doesn’t want to fall sick when one is alone. The hesitation to talk to strangers fades away because it seems one is in constant contact with strangers. Slowly and gradually the ‘fearful little girl’ becomes the ‘Fearless Nadia’.

Next are the ego boasting changes. They are the ones loved by all, cherished by all and will be definitely written in golden letters, when one decides to write his/her biography.For illustration the pride in you, when you become the idol for someone, while you are just performing a mundane act of yours, when seniors start appreciating you, when you yourself start appreciating yourself for a remarkable job and the icing on the cake when your parents with pride flaunt your achievements.

Then they are the ego crushing changes. Awwhhh!! The ones you want to bury deep in ground and hope nobody gets a chance to dig them. These are the changes from which the terms like loser, failure etc find there origin. For example how a single mistake of yours is blown out of proportion as it has a mammoth like consequence, when an act of ignorance results in a deadly aftermath. When it seems that there was no fault of yours but all fingers point at you. These are the changes which you want to erase from your memory as soon as possible but they crawl in your thoughts with a very high frequency and bring guilt and dejection along.

One change which every one feels but you really don’t have words to describe this or at least I fall short of vocabulary for it. This is the one where it seems the entire universe is conspiring to get you married and you alone are resisting from it. This is the change where the entire world is in search for your soul mate and you are in this constant mode of finding flaws with their findings. So predominant is this change that it rattles in your mind and leads to mentioning of it in the start and end of an article by a person going thru this stage of life. I have reached a conclusion, the fear one feels for this change is the fear of losing one’s independence and the fear of taking the extra responsibility.

So changed is the life after these changes that you are a complete changed person. You feel the all these changes are happening right in front of you and you have no power to change them. Then hey!! What the heck, changes are the spice of life!!! Isn't it???

" Be Yourself "

2008-11-16T02:27:00.000-08:00

Why would you want to be someone else

When you could be better by being yourself

Why pretend to be someone you are not

When you have something they haven't got

---

Cheating yourself of the life you have to live

Deprives others of that only which you can give

You have much more to offer by being just you

Than walking around in someone else's shoes

---

Trying to live the life of another is a mistake

It is a masquerade; nothing more than a fake

Be yourself and let your qualities show through

Others will love you more for being just you

---

Remember that God loves you just as you are

To Him you are already a bright shining star

Family and friends will love you more too

If you spent time practicing just being you

"Portrait of a Friend"

2008-11-14T10:25:00.000-08:00

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,nor the future with its untold stories. But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine; yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, or to judge; I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me.I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,But I can cry with you and help you pick up the piecesand put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend.

Death of an Innocent

2008-11-12T11:01:00.000-08:00

****************************
I went to a party, mom,
I remember what you said.
You told me not to drink, mom,
so I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, mom,
even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, mom,
as everyone is driving out of site.
As I got into my car, mom,
I knew I would get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me, mom,
so responsible and sweet.
I stared to drive away, mom,
but I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn’t see me, mom,
and hit me like a load.
As I lay here on the payment, mom,
I hear the policeman say,
The other guy is drunk, mom,
and now I’m the one who will pay.
I’m lying here dying, mom,
I wish you’d get here soon.
How could this happen to me, mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, mom,
and most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, mom,
I’ll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, mom,
I swear I didn’t drink.
It was the others, mom.
The others didn’t think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank and I will die.
Why do people drink, mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I’m feeling sharp pains now, mom,
and pains just like a knife.
The guy that hit me is walking, mom,
I don’t think it is fair.
I’m lying here dying, mom,
and all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, mom,
tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to haven, mom,
put “daddy’s girl” on my grave.
Someone should have told him, mom,
not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting short, mom,
I’m becoming very scared.
Please don’t cry for me, mom.
When I need you, you were always there.
I have one last question, mom,
before I say good bye.
I didn’t drink and drive, mom,
so why am I the one to die?
****************************

" I DID NOT WRITE THIS. IT WAS SENT TO ME AND I WANTED TO SHARE IT! "

My mighty friend

2008-11-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

----------------------------

My mighty Aunt was wrong,

when she sang me a song,

Then she beckoned me forth to the fold.

I sat on her nighty,

she cradled me tightly,

Then told me a story of old.
“Young child” she declared with a snort and a stare,

“There are things that I feel you should know.

”So she sat there with ease and she made me believe,

That my father was some sort of crow!
[On my father’s return]
“My child what is up?” he choked with a cluck.

“My darling you’re looking so blue!”

“You’re a CROW!” I declared,

then he stood and he stared,

And off through the window he flew.
She's the best,

She's the youngest,

I'd say she's the greatest.

She's very smart,

She's in my heart,

I don't think we'll ever grow apart.

Sure she's faraway,

And I don't see her everyday.

But she's my favorite aunt,

And she's like a stuffed animal I really want.

She's like a best friend to me,

It's like she has a key,

And through me she can see,

Something troubling me.

Yet, she will always let me be.

We have great memories together.

And I'd be happy if she stayed with me forever.

I miss her a bunch,

And I'll always love her so much.

It doen't intrest me...

2008-11-07T12:30:00.000-08:00

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine and your own without having to hide it, fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine and your own. If you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you till the tip of your toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, and to remember the limitation of being human. It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint others to be true to yourself, if you can bear the accusation of betrayals and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see the beauty even if it’s not pretty every day and if you can source your life from God’s presence. I want to know if you can live with failures, mine and your own and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the moon. Yes I can. It doesn’t interest me where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done for the children. It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of fire and not shrink back. It doesn’t interest me what or where have you studied or with whom. I want to know what sustains you from inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be done with yourself and truly like the company you keep in empty moments. It doesn’t interest me but I want to know.

People change.

2008-11-06T22:00:00.000-08:00

---------------------------------------

Tears glistened in my eyes

as i said something like this:

your the only person I’m not,

supposed to miss,

so why are you doing this,

i think you got it wrong,

although I’ve held up you,

I’m not that strong,

your supposed to be my best mate,

why are you telling lies,

you no that they are,

you even avoid my eyes!'

and you glanced up and said,

'I don't need a friend like you,

and you looked at everyone,

and said 'its true'

I turned away and started to walk,

I was always there

when you needed me the most,

and now you don't care

you've shown me the real meaning,

of I hate you,

lives sometimes strange

I once called you my best friend..

I guess people change!

Untitled Relationship

2008-11-06T09:30:00.000-08:00

--------------------------------------

I'm there but you don't see me,

I scream but you don't hear me,

So why do I keep trying?

I lie but you can't see it,

I'm in pain but you don't acknowledge it,

So I'll just keep on dying.

Then you came along,

Turned my world upside down.

You made me smile,

Whenever I would frown.

Then you made me fall in love,

Shot me throught the heart.

And I hope to myself,

You won't tear me apart.

Like all those other guys,

Who enjoyed my pain.

Enjoyed how they

Could drive me insane.

I hope that you'll be different,

That you'll help me heal.

I hope that you'll finally care enough,

To teach me how it feels.

To theach me about happiness,

To teach me if it's really love.

To finally bring me peace,

Like a pure little dove...

My dear Sis, ( ప్రియమైన చెల్లి)

2008-11-05T10:43:00.000-08:00

------------------------------

What you mean to me,
is more than I can express.
You see, I had no sister when I was little
to call when I was in distress.

When we first met,

we had no clue,

what was getting ready to happen,

Was not completely out of the blue.

God had a plan,

throughout all the years;

He was making us for each other,

to share life's smiles and tears.

I never could have imagined,

what a sister's love was about,

until I met you,

and then I really found out.

I never could have imagined,

what a sister's love was about,

until I met you,

and then I really found out.

A sister's love is unconditional,

It's a love has no end,

A sister's love wants the best for each other,

It's a love that will always defend.

Sometimes we may get mad,

or we may begin to fight,

but that's the fun part about having a sister,

we both think we're always right!

I'm so glad that I did not have,

a sister in the past,

it’s made me much more thankful,

for the sister I have at last.

------------------------------

Forever

2008-11-04T07:25:00.000-08:00

-------------------------------------

If every word I said

could make you laugh

Ooh, I'd talk forever

together my love

I asked the sky just what we had

it showed forever

together my love

If the song I sing to you

could fill your heart with joy

I'd sing forever

together my love

forever, forever

I've been so happy loving you

together my love

Let the love I have for you live in your heart

And be forever

together my love

Forever, forever

I've been so happy loving you

If every word I said could make you laugh

I'd talk forever

Forever, forever

I'll been so happy loving you

(Another nice song)

Secret heart

2008-11-03T10:44:00.000-08:00

------------------------------------

Secret heart

What are you made of

What are you so afraid of

Could it be

Three simple words

Or the fear of being overheard

What's wrong

Let em' in on your secret heart

Secret Heart

Why so mysterious

Why so sacred

Why so serious

Maybe you're

Just acting tough

Maybe you're just not man enough

What's wrong

Let em' in on your secret heart

This very secret

That you're trying to conceal

Is the very same one

That You're dying to reveal

Go tell him how you feel

Secret heart come out and share it

This loneliness, few can bear it

Could it have something to do with

Admitting that you just can't go through it alone?

Let em' in on your secret heart

This very secret

That you're trying to conceal

Is the very same one

That you're dying to reveal

Go tell him how you feel

This very secret heart

आंखों ही आंखों में यूँ !

2008-11-02T17:30:00.000-08:00

------------------------------------------

कितनी बातें है जो, कह न पाये उनको,

हम तो न थे इस तरह.

आंखों ही आंखों में

आंखों ही आंखों में यूँ

खोये रहे

बस तुमको देखे देखते ही रहे

रुक जाए लम्हे सभी जाते हुए

क्या तुमसे कह दे और क्या न कहे

तुम ही समझ लो सभी ए काश के

बस ये एक तम्मना है दिल जो अपना है

उसको मिल जाओ तुम

अब न ख्यालों में न सवालों में

बाहों में आओ तुम

आंखों ही आंखों में

आंखों ही आंखों में यूँ

खोये रहे

चाँद सितारे सारे बेनूर थे

तुमसे मिले तो सभी रोशन हुए

ये सब नजारे फिर मिले न मिले

एक दो कदम ही सही मिल कर चले

कल किसने देखा है क्या भरोसा है

रह न जाए गिलेयेही इफ्तेदा भी है इन्तेहा haii है

है मुहब्बत भी ये

आंखों ही आंखों में यूँ

खोये रहे,खोये रहे

Missing my friend

2008-11-01T12:37:00.000-07:00

I truly believe we all have one soulmate and very few are fortunate enough to ever make that connection. I met mine eighteen years too late. Ultimately, we lacked the courage to upset so many other lives and we parted painfully. Perhaps it was a brave decision rather than a cowardly one. I know most people will think it was the “right” one. But it has left a huge gap in my life which I cannot see my way past.

Heartbroken, I grieved for more than a year. I watched while he met and commited to someone who was free. Even now, more than a week since he last made contact, I nurse an insane hope that he will renew our relationship. Insane to wish myself back in that impossible situation in which we found ourselves.

I found an inner strength and I am no longer the dependent person who was once commited to him. He, on the other hand, has never grown up or learned to communicate on an intimate level. When we talk, which is rare, it’s about school, diary dates, practical matters. We veer away from anything that would mean engaging at a deeper level and live in a vacuum of emotional sterility.

I fill every moment with work or activities so that I don’t have to face the crisis in my life. I’m starved of personal space at home because he is always there, and dread being awake when he comes into my dreams. Every night I cry. Worst of all, I carry a deep anger directed largely at him because my life hasn’t worked out the way I wanted it to. It’s not a nice feeling and doesn’t make me feel good about myself.

I am terrified about what will happen next in my life when it will be my time to get married and become someone’s wife. Who will want me then? I’m too scared and too guilty to do anything to jeopardise the status quo. He was not a bad person. None of this is his fault. My parents and sis are confident little people who adore me. Who am I to upset their world?

On the other hand, am I selfish to need reassurance that I am more than just a provider, a daughter, a sister, or a friend? I don’t think so. A true partnership is when one’s emotional needs are subsumed by love, whatever the circumstances. I miss him.

" तेरे बारे में जब सोचा नहीं था " When I was not thinking of you

2008-11-01T09:01:00.000-07:00

(Hindi version)

तेरे बारे में जब सोचा नहीं था,

मैं तनहा था मगर इतना नहीं था

तेरी तस्वीर से करता था बातें,

मेरे कमरे में आईना नहीं था.

समंदर ने मुझे प्यासा ही रखा,

मैं जब सहेरा में था प्यासा नहीं था.

मनाने रूठने के खेल में हम,

बिछड़ जायेंगे ये सोचा नहीं था.

सुना है बंद कर ली उसने आंखें ,

कई रातों से वो सोया नहीं था।

(English version)

I was all alone,

when I was not thinking of you like this.

I used to talk to your illusion,

I never had a mirrior like this.

The sea kept me thirst,

when I was in desert I was not thirst like this.

In the game of love and hate,

I didn't know we'll be seprated like this.

I heard that he has closed his eyes forever,

seems, from many years he never slept like this.

Heal My Broken Heart:

2008-10-28T13:32:00.000-07:00

How long will it take?
How long before that empty feeling fades away?

You try to go about your daily routine,
Try not to think about it too much.
But it keeps coming back,
Sweeping over you like a wave
That feeling in the pit of your stomach
You suck in a big breath of air.
How long am I going to feel this way?

I didn't mean to break your and mine.
I only wish I could go back
And tell you that I want you by my side.
I wish I could kiss you one more time.
But I had my chance and I blew it!
Now when I see you my heart hurts,
And when you kiss her I cry inside myself.
I'm sorry for what I did I only wish I could go back.

I get your, text messages,
And emails saying your sorry,
But when I saw you with that girl,
My heart began to rip,
You looked at me,
And started seeing,
Tears run down my face।

Shattered heart forced to heal

as greatness unveils thine soul.

Hope whispered in the distance,

to recover thine lost love.

This night brings tender passing,

Healing thine soul with glorious blunder.

Because not one or two,

But dissipated nights of dreams.

Sadness comes to end,

Happiness conquered hate.

Love sprouting -- sadness shrinking,

Hope will come again. HOPEFULLY.

वोह एक वक़्त था (There was a time) !!!

2008-10-27T13:00:00.000-07:00

आज उनकी याद में, आंसू भी मीठे लगते हैं,

वोह एक वक़्त था जब, मुस्कुराते भी थे हम…॥

आज सिर्फ इंतज़ार है, उनकी इजाज़त का हमें,

वोह एक वक़्त था जब, हक से मिलने जाते थे हम…॥

आज हमारे आँसू, उनको पिघलाते नहीं,

वोह एक वक़्त था जब, गले लगाए जाते थे हम…॥

आज हम दुःख का एक जरिया सा बन के रह गए,

वोह एक वक़्त था जब, उनको भी हंसाते थे हम…॥

आज हमारी बात का सच भी नज़र आता नहीं??

वोह एक वक़्त था जब, एक मिसाल बताये जाते थे हम…॥

वक़्त बदल गया, सब छीन सा गया लगता है,

वोह एक वक़्त था जब, हालात ठुकराते थे हम……

उनकी चाहत से ही दिल यह इंसान हो गया,

वोह एक वक़्त था जब, चट्टान कहलाते थे हम……

जिसने हमको जीने का मतलब सिखा दिया,

वोह एक वक़्त था जब, उनको भी सिखाते थे हम…॥

क्या करें के जो उनका, साथ फिर से मिल सके,

काश के उनको रुला सकते, तो मर के दिखा सकते थे हम ॥

----------------------------------------------------------------------

" आंसू जो बह रहे हैं इन्हें बहने दो ! यह कह रहे हैं दिल की बात, कहने दो ! बहुत बावफा हो तुम, यह हम को है मालूम , तुम अपनी वफ़ा की बात, अपनी तक ही रहने दो! "

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Transalation:

Even tears taste like sweet, in the memories of him today,
There was a time, when I used to laugh.
Am just waiting for his permission today,
There was a time, I used to met thinking he is mine.
My tears are also not melting him today,
There was a time, he used to hug me.I have just become a reason of sorrow today,
There was a time, I used to make him laugh.There is no sign of truth in my words today,
There was a time, when they were proud of us.
Everything is stolen it seems as time changed today,
There was a time, I used to neglet the time.My heart become wise in his love,
There was a time, I used to have stone heart
He only taught me how to live,
There was a time, even I used to teach him.
To get back together, what should I do? I can die for his love, I wish I could make him cry।

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

If tears are rolling let them come out, they are trying to tell something let them speak, How loyal you are to me, that I know, Keep your loyalty with you, don’t try to show them।

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I, ME and MYSELF

2008-10-27T11:35:00.000-07:00

I'm like this I was born like this,

and this can't be changed

When I want to laugh, I just burst out laughing

When I feel sad, I just cry my heart out

I like to learn and cheers others,

while made peace with people around me

If God ask me why I served Him,

I'll answer "cause You loved me in the 1st place."

Lots of things that people said on me,

but I won't care cause they're not me,

How come they'd understand me

I'd like to be myself, cause it makes me feel alive

and realize how precious life is

I'm like this I was born like this, and this can't be changed

Do you know???

2008-10-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

---------------------------------------

Do you know, do you know

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away?

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

If birds flying south are a sign of changes. At least you can predict this every year. Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly I can’t get it to speak. Maybe finding all the things it took to save us I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me. Look in your eyes to see something about me I’m standing on the edge and I don’t know what else to give.

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away?

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

How can I love you How can I love you How I can love you . . . .

If you just don’t talk to me, honey.

I flow through my actthe question is he needed

and decide the entire woman I can ever be. Looking at the last 3 years like I did, I could never see us ending like this. Seeing your face no more on my pillow is a scene that’s never happened to me. But after this episode I don’t see, you could never tell the next thing life could be

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away?

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away?

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

Do you know, do you know, do you know….

Frustration (2)

2008-10-24T08:29:00.000-07:00

You're smiling, like a simple rose

but hatered is too hard to hide

its too clear

that you cant stand to lose

or to see that im safe inside

i wont cry this time when i see you die

or freeze in disbelief

i know that this will hurt but i

will breathe out in releifive had it,

from the pain im in

its getting darker but i wont let you win

or watch you

play my mind again

its getting darker

i wont give in

In the beginning I had it all figured out

I didn't think there was anything to worry about

Blinded by bliss I couldn't see the road ahead

One wrong move and my hope was dead

I didn't realize what I was doing at all

I couldn't see what I was doing would bring about my downfall

Then I found myself on the ground all of a sudden

And for what? Nothin'.

Nothing Remains

2008-10-22T08:45:00.000-07:00

------------------------------------

Whatever appears to leave us

actually does not leave.

Whatever appears to stay with us

actually does not stay.

Nothing remains.

Everything is a mystery

of constant gain and loss.

Frustration

2008-10-21T08:18:00.000-07:00

If I had a shiny gun,
I could have a world of fun
Speeding bullets through the brains
Of the folk who give me pains.
***
Or had I some poison gas,
I could make the moments pass
Bumping off a number of
People whom I do not love.
***

Like a song trapped in a music box,

or a bird in a cage,

like a brook condemned to a dam,
my soul dreamt of an escape.

***

Somewhere beyond my inner walls,

Somewhere beyond must be a gate!
I searched deeper and deeper into my soul,

only to find the things I really loathed;

There must be something more than this empty glass,

something more than this broken heart.

***

The pain of frustration grew, like a giant reservoir;

Disappointments from all directions came pouring in.

Inspired frustration, divinely appointed,

you can choose your own roads,

but not where they will end.

The road most traveled,

is paved with self;

Turn your eyes in, it will lead you to hell.

***

You can play games,

pretend that it does not hurt.

But you can't stop Him (I mean God) from telling you:

"For something better I created you"

Understanding others

2008-10-21T03:01:00.000-07:00

Understanding others is one of the hardest things to do because most of us assume that they are just like us, or even worse, we act as if they have no feelings.

The first thing that I find is important in understanding others is to understand the basics of all people. You've probably met many different types of people, the kinds that almost bubble over in their enthusiasm and the kinds that seem to be locked inside of a robot, but both of them still are alike. No matter how someone looks or acts on the outside, inside they have an abundance of feelings.

One other way that can help you relate to others is to be aware of the differences in people. This is where personality comes in. Many people like to make decisions based on facts and others go more on their feelings, some are more "open" then others. One person will need to have order in everything they do and another would hate to have a life-style set down with rules. Even though there are these differences, that doesn't mean that one is right and the other's wrong, they are just seeing things from a different perspective. Just think about it, if all of us were plan oriented and basing decisions on facts, who would brighten up the world and make us laugh? And if everyone was the last-minute dwelling on feelings type how fast could the world lose its order? This sounds like nostalgic I know, but it's something to think about. :)

Well we know that everyone has emotions whether they show them or not and we also know that they are different but this knowledge won't take us anywhere unless we see how to use it. So in the first place we need to always respect others; for their beliefs, perspective and emotions. Just because someone else has a totally different view point then you doesn't mean you shouldn't respect them, they still deserve just as much respect as you. Sometimes for the people that are oriented and it's hard to understand why another person can't hold himself in a bit and be realistic. At the same time some try to get others to let loose a little. One view isn't better then the other, it's just different and we need to see it that way and that's the beginning to "understanding others".

Alone in the Woods

2008-10-18T11:44:00.000-07:00

-------------------------------------------

Alone in the woods I felt

The bitter hostility of the sky and the trees

Nature has taught her creatures to hate

Man that fusses and fumes

Unquiet man

So rises the wrath of Nature's creatures

At man

So paints the face of Nature a violent green.

***

Nature is sick at man

Sick at his fuss and fume

Sick at his agonies

Sick at his gaudy mind

that drives his body

ever more quickly

more and more

in the wrong direction.
***
I choose the path

that's leading down into fall

He goes with me,
But I can see he's refusing

"Why would you choose a road you can't control?"

He knows the answer,
But I remain so confusing

***
And now we stand

on a brink of our treasure

Raven wall, smooth

and mighty, rises between

And feeling of calmness,

which words cannot measure

Dulls the longing to pass,

which is striking and keen.

"In Another Life"

2008-10-16T07:02:00.000-07:00

Do you love me? Oh do you love me?

I say so

Do you need me oh do you need me

God I hope

I get this feeling deep inside

That somewhere somehow you passed me by

I can't put my finger on it but

The more that I see you the more that I know

Everywhere you go is everywhere I've been

You finish all my sentences before they begin

And I know that look in your eyes

It's like I've seen you before about a million times

In another life, in another life maybe, in another life you are going to be mine

You make me feel so

Beautiful

It doesn't matter

No it never matters if we're out or home

We can make hours into years

Wherever you go you're always here

It's like I've known you from before

But I'm just so happy you walked through my door

I'm breathing you in

I'm breathing you out

You're all around me

No matter what we do

I want to spend my life with you

Only you

Do you love me oh do you love me

Say you love me oh say you love me

And I know that look in your eyes

It's like I've seen you before about a million times

In another life, in another life maybe, in another life you are going to be mine

Do you love me oh say you love me

(SORRY BUT WE ARE CLOSED. HOPE TO SEE YOU IN ANOTHER LIFE, WHEN WE MEET EACH OTHER HOPEFULLY)

A true friend

2008-10-15T04:13:00.000-07:00

To me a true friend is someone you can lean on when you need support, someone that will catch you when you're unsteady. To me a true friend is here to help you with a problem, if they know how to solve it. To me a true friend is a person that makes you smile without even trying, that makes you cry but with happiness. To me a true friend is someone you can see when they're not really next to you. To me a true friend is one that knows what to say, when you are merely speechless and stands by you in the good and bad times, is rich in their companionship

My pen friend

2008-10-13T00:32:00.000-07:00

How do you react when you get a letter from your pen friend? You smile and say, 'That's nice.' Then you open it, read it, maybe write a letter back, and wait for the next reply. Well lets back up a moment, shall we?

Like any girls I was in an age,
To make new friends…
…A friend to be honest with me…
Desperate I was…
…ShOoTiNg hIgH…rUnNiNg WiLd…

Then, one night I entered the net
Innocent girl I was,
Just looking around until
I found you around…

You're a stranger and I let you in my heart
What spell did you cast on me to make into yours!
I ask that question to myself often and
Neither do I have the answer.

Your so unique and yourself
That's what I like about you.

I treasure the sweet thoughts you daily send
And each time you do,
You make my heart beat loud and clear

This friendship like ours,
Its rare and so much different,
And…
I'm sure our friendship is true and will remain solid
For many days to come…

At times like this I really like to say I would like to thank you in person in so many ways…

Silent Friend

2008-10-12T22:01:00.000-07:00

The most important thing to a writer isn’t the paper or how she thinks or what she thinks about, it’s her pen, because without it she would have nothing to write with. Yes you can express your self in other ways, but what’s better than being able to write?

I was bad at writing; I tried to make the poems rhyme and all that more “normal” stuff poems do. It wasn’t until later that I found out that I was the one holding the pen that I could change the way I wrote my poems. At first it was hard, and then it got easier as I went along. I just held the pen over a blank piece of paper and everything I felt: anger, resentment, affection, and love, poured out onto the paper. I wrote poems about little things like a piece of paper rolling around on the cement and about the more serious things that affected me. There are three sides of the pen.

One side was that it was a vent, if someone was aggravating me or if I just felt like crying I wrote a poem, one after another. I loved the freedom of being to write, of being able to cry without really doing it. It was the next best thing to having a good friend to whom I could tell everything. I wrote down all my worries, anger and just everything I was feeling bad about, and felt good later. It didn’t go away but writing and putting it down on paper was like saying, “okay, now I have control over my feelings, now I can control what’s wrong.” It gave me a sense of control over what I wrote and how I wrote it, and who I allowed to read it.

The other side, the darker side, of my pen was that I used it almost like my weapon. How? I might have ruined someone’s reputation by writing something I hadn’t intended to let anyone else but I see. Well, let’s just say I didn’t do it on purpose. I also sometimes use my “weapon” on my family too. Let’s face it; parents are always nosy about what’s going on in their kids’ minds. Yes, I know they care and for good reason, but the least they could do is respect my privacy. I mean there are reasons I don’t want them to read the poems I write; I don’t want them to tease me, or worry, or anything like that, I don’t like it when they do that (to tell you the truth, I hate it).

Now the third side, the nicer side was for those few people I cared about and who mattered to me most. I wrote poems for and about them, funny ones when I wanted to cheer them up or just to see them laugh, and sad ones when something bad happened or when I just wanted to say “I love you”. I also wrote poems, the more secret ones, and showed them. I don’t even think they are aware that I let them see a part of me my family hardly sees, if ever. My pen was what connected me to them, what showed them how much I cared for and cherished them.

My relationship with my pen is weird. It lets me communicate with people without feeling embarrassed or judged. I use it all kinds of ways, I can hurt people with it, I can flatter them, or I show them that I love them through a small poem or a letter. I don’t write as many poems now, I’ve met so many wonderful people, people I can trust and who trust me that I hardly ever feel the need to write anymore. But once in a while I’ll feel it, the desire to write just one more poem.

Your will power

2008-10-11T12:33:00.000-07:00

Just because these people are bad themselves... doesn't always justify the evil actions you take... however morally wrong it may have been. You look deep into your soul. Can't find any good? Your hate is consuming you. Just dig a little bit deeper. I'm sure you will find that you own a heart of gold. Maybe all the evil things were out of kindness. They say it's not alright to judge, but you took it upon yourself anyway. A guy hit some girl so you hit him back. Let's dig a little bit deeper. Someone you know gets extremely drunk grabs his keys and starts his car. So you yank him out, and get arrested. Maybe *YOU* saved someone's life. All those times you've sacrificed trying to help so many others. Why can't you remember the good things? I mean you're the good person after all.

When I was in love

2008-10-10T12:23:00.000-07:00

OH, when I was in love with you,
Then I was clean and brave,
And miles around the wonder grew
How well did I behave.

And now the fancy passes by,
And nothing will remain,
And miles around they’ll say that
I am quite myself again.

From friend to a Stranger

2008-10-10T08:26:00.000-07:00

_______________________________

From a friend to a stranger

How's your life

In your current situation

Did they hold you hostage

Did they tell you lies

Just to add to your frustration

Oh, my heart

***

So you drown the whole day in your troubled heart

On the road to change your life

Not to give it all away

But to sing your song

'Cause in the end that's where you arrive

***

Oh, my heart it breaks me

When I hear them calling me

Oh, to see inside myself

A guy can see that no one else could ever know

The way we'd end up please

***

So, from a friend to a stranger

How's your life

In your current situation

Wish you happiness and freedom

And I wish you life

When you reach your destination

Your destination

Your destination.

Only Time

2008-10-08T20:48:00.000-07:00

(Its one of my fav song.)

Who can say where the road goes,

Where the day flows, only time?

And who can say if your love grows,

As your heart chose, only time?

Who can say why your heart sights,

As your live flies, only time?

And who can say why your heart cries

when your love lies, only time?

Who can say when the roads meet,

That love might be , in your heart?

and who can say when the day sleeps,

and the night keeps all your heart?

Night keeps all your heart.....

Who can say if your love groves,

As your heart chose, only time?

And who can say where the road goes

Where the day flows, only time?

Who knows? Only time.

New Friend

2008-10-07T09:59:00.000-07:00

____________________________

When only darkness remains
Through and unexpected lens
A light shining faint
Beckons us in
Reaching we touch
A new friendship begins
Hope seeking hope
We risk our trust again

Bad Luck

2008-10-07T05:01:00.000-07:00

I never knew being so imperfect could have its disadvantages. Last time I checked people were still taking the most advantages. I've come to realize that maybe it's not me but this place that surrounds me. I haven't yet realized. However how a *blind man* could see? *Bad luck* seems to follow me wherever I may go. They told me to not worry, "just go with the flow". Life has already taken my past; the road I wanted to travel. Can I still change things? Is this possible to fathom? It seems the things I want I can never have and the things I don't want are always up for grabs. Certainly I couldn't have been cursed with such servitude as this. My mind numbs with the pain of again being one day without this certain blissful happiness. Changing times they feel nor hear no rhymes. To just one day feel the feeling everyone else feels would undoubtedly cure me of this cursed loneliness and inner. Shivering quick, candle on a stick, once too fast no longer quick. I bid you farewell cursed wretched life, for you I no longer strive. I'm happy with myself no matter what they may think or say. It's me I have to deal with not the immutable force of "they". Change me not, this place or this world can no longer do. I may have changed, but I'm still unchangeable to *you*.

Before I go

2008-10-06T10:44:00.000-07:00

If the one you love in your heart has to go, just remember this, they are not gone" they are right there in your heart, and maybe standing right next to you, holding you.

I'm Beside You" I'll be there before I go". If i ever leave this world of Beauty, if you look around and I'm gone , I havn't left yet cause i'm beside you, I couldn't leave without seeing you for awhile , I couldn't leave without telling you thank you,and some how talking to you a while , Aww its not scary and its not a good time to feel sad, I'd just came back to tell you thank you for all you've done for me , its not gonna be soon this goodbye, maybe along long time away, hey maybe, but in case you wake to see me not here, I Just ask you to smile and remmber, I'm not gone just yet, I'm gonna visit with you for a little while, Then i'll go and wait for you up in a Golden city,And hope and wonder, So you see, Its really a wish , its not a sad thought, its just to let you know, you belong with me.

Beach

2008-10-06T03:07:00.000-07:00

Sand between my toes

wind in my hair,

are you there?

Heart flutters

birds soar,

there’s the door!

My agony

is washed away

by the punishment

of pounding waves.

Walking alone

on this desolate beach

catharsis achieved,

lonely no more.

Cleansed by the foam

under my feet

and kissed on the cheek

by the blistering sun

I am at peace once again.

A Walk in the Woods

2008-10-05T19:51:00.000-07:00

So quiet and calm
So peaceful yet strange
A sense of fear and excitement
I walk on

Spirits and whispers
Wind in the leaves
Trees bending down
I walk on

Turns and steps
Rivers and streams
Leaves float slowly
I walk on

Blended colors
Yellow, red, and green
Surrounded by their painting
I walk on

A sense of tranquility
A sense of self
Away from the world
Here I stay

Innocence

2008-10-05T19:40:00.000-07:00

Innocence stolen without my permission

Innocence gone without my submission

Innocence lost through another's plan

Innocence no longer for another man

Innocence turned to hatred and fear

Innocence gone, no man can come near

Innocence taken from a little girls heart

Innocence replaced by mistrust, you thought you were smart

Innocence disappears like dew in the sun

Innocence faded before it's begun

Innocence obscured like a cloud over the moon

Innocence ripped away too soon

"Forbidden Dream"

2008-10-03T11:01:00.000-07:00

In the corners of your mind
And the core of your design,
In the pout of your lips
And the sway of your hips,
You are a forbidden dream-
You are not what you seem.

A lie in the making
A heart in the breaking
A kiss on the cheek
A sigh so sweet
You are a forbidden dream-
You are not what you seem.

In the flip of your hair
And the depth of your stare
In the shiver down your spine
And the core of your design
You are a forbidden dream-
You are not what you seem.

A cry in the waking
A soul for the taking
A caress of the hand
A voiceless demand
You are a forbidden dream-
You are not what you seem.

*****

A Voice!!!

2008-10-01T18:27:00.000-07:00

For years I heard a promising voice,
More than a figment of my imagination,
My mind’s magnificent creation,
There was hope in the voice,
That some day,
We’d breathe the same air,
Share the same silence,
Exchange more than a smile,
Create a marriage,
Between
Fantasy
And
Reality.

Whispers in the Dark...

2008-09-30T10:23:00.000-07:00

a year and a half has passed since when

the dear Lord called you home...

A year and a half of troubled days;

yet... time enough to mend....

Though days have sped by rapidly

I can't recall an hour,When thoughts of you don't linger near;

those thoughts have so much power.

The memory of your last few weeks

still haunts me to this day.

I don't seem able to let them go;

Please ~~~ help me find a way.

Although I'm only humanthe guilt still tears at me.

Those "little things" unthought-of;

those "little things" I did not see.

Unable to resolve the strife,

The burden never ending.

I find I dare not speak of it

For others have done Their mending.

To myself I keep my thoughts

Fearing ridicule and scorn

from those more able to move ahead

and see a brighter morn...

Healing comes with Time, it's said.

Time has, thus far, no cure.

How much of it must need to pass?

How much must I endure?

I need a key to unlock the door

where all this pain and guilt reside.

Please; someone help me find that key.

I'm so torn up inside...

If I Could Tell You...

2008-09-30T02:36:00.000-07:00

Time will say nothing but I told you so,

Time only knows the price we have to pay;

If I could tell you I would let you know.

If we should weep when clowns put on their show,

If we should stumble when musicians play,

Time will say nothing but I told you so.

There are no fortunes to be told, although,

Because I love you more than I can say,

If I could tell you I would let you know.

The winds must come from somewhere when they blow,

There must be reasons why the leaves decay;

Time will say nothing but I told you so.

Perhaps the roses really want to grow,

The vision seriously intends to stay;

If I could tell you I would let you know.

Suppose all the lions get up and go,

And all the brooks and soldiers run away;

Will Time say nothing but I told you so?

If I could tell you I would let you know.

Khwaishein... An innocent wishes.

2008-09-13T12:38:00.000-07:00

I wish that I could cause the sun

to warm the world with love

I wish to remove the clouds a moment

to reveal the stars above

I wish that I could wipe that tear

from the corner of your eye

I wish to bring happiness for your sorrow

I wish to bring a smile for your sigh

I wish that I could do better things

Put hope within your heart

I wish to make today the best you've had

Right from its' very start

I wish that I were able

to make your dream come true

I wish I could - I wish I could

do all these things for you

I wish I knew what you were thinking

I wish I could read your mind

I wish that we were together now

I wish I could call you mine

I wish I could make you understand

I wish I could make you see

I wish that I could be with you now

I wish that you were here with me

I wish I could tell you how I feel

I wish I could tell you I love you

I wish you would look me back in the eyes

I wish you would say "I love you, too"

I wish I didn’t have to only dream of you

I wish I could be with you all the time

I wish I could stay in your arms forever

I wish I could say all the things on my mind.

"Friends Forever"

2008-09-04T12:18:00.000-07:00

You my friend...
You don't always show it,

But I know that you care.

You my friend...

If I'd ever need you,

I know you'd be here.

I'm glad you're my friend,

Your smile makes me smile,

Your pain makes me hurt.

You my friend...

I want you to know,

If you need me--I'm here,

Make you happy,

Make you laugh.

You my friend...

Sometimes you make me mad,

But I can't stay mad.

You my friend...

Sometimes I want to get away from you,

And sometimes there's nothing I want more than

To talk to you.

To tell you about my day,

To here about yours,

To laugh with you,

To tease you,

To share an inside joke,

That no one would get,

To argues with you,

But know we are just kidding.

You my friend...

Don't ever lose the wonderful person you are...

Stay happy,

Stay healthy,

Stay as you are.

You my friend....

I'll never stop being your friend,

Dare to stop being mine...

You my friend…

Just wanted to tell you that,

This is what I think about you,
And we are "friends forever".

“Dream”

2008-09-01T06:40:00.000-07:00

You once told me

that dreams do come true,

and I've experienced that

the day I gave my heart to you.

I've cherish that very moment

So precious inside my heart,

And made a wish for me and you

To never ever part.

If ever there's a problem

Or things are not going right,

I'll make sure and sit down with you

and discuss it until it is bright.

I can't hide the love for you

So dear, precious and true,

If ever I was to loose this love,

I promise that my heart will lead back to you.

But I wish I could describe you

You're nothing but a dream

Leaving me nothing to hold onto

I feel like I could scream

I would sleep forever

Just to dream you again

Oh, can't you come to me

And free me of this pain?

I'm lying on my bed again

Waiting to fall asleep

To spend another night with you

To explore this ocean deep

I'm back in our world, I'm happy again

I see you there, and you whisk me away

And then like a bird, the time flies by

The morning arrives, much to my dismay

I cry out loud as you fade away

Begging desperately for the night to stay

My eyes open, and I close them again

Hoping to see your face for once, but nay

Again, left with nothing but the thought

That if I were to die and go to the heaven

I'd beg to live a night with you instead

After that, I'd never think of you in vain

If only I could see your face for once

If only I could feel your touch

I'd tell you how much I love you

Am I really asking for too much?

Morning Light

2008-08-27T04:19:00.000-07:00

I wake up to see you standing in the morning light.I reach out to touch you,But all that I get is a memory, and yet, I feel you are near but my vision's not clear.

Yet I have your image always in view,I'm forever thinking of you. I feel you watching me quietly in the morning light. I try to find some peace of mind in knowing you're where you don't have a care.I take comfort that you no longer have

To keep living in a world full of pain, but I ache to see you again.On rainy days I sit and think of our lost years, the times we spent apart just fill my eyes with tears, but fields of wild flowers and yellow butterflies remind me of you and make me smile.

I walk in to your room and stand there in the morning light. I cherish the memories: Your robe on a hook,The pictures you took. I can smell your perfume on the clothes in your room.

Everything I see makes your loss hard to bear,I see you everywhere.I live now in a still world listening in the morning light.I strain to hear a familiar voice but all that I hear is the sound of my tears.Then from a far place comes the slightest trace of your voice saying, "I'm all right, you see, and I always will be."

Love or Friendship:

2008-08-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

He is my good friend. He is my best confidant. We have known each other more than a decade and have shared meals, movies, hobbies and vacations. We have confided to each other about our latest love interest and turned to one another for support when the relationship(s) failed. I can't imagine my life without my good friend.

But for a while...

I‘ve felt jealous of his dates. I've been overprotective of him since he has been seeing the jerk. I've been having very strong feelings of attraction and a desire for something more than friendship. Could it be that my feelings for him have grown into something more? If so, our relationship may have developed into a "friend crush".

I don't know what to do. I know I want to continue spending time together - more time. But it's getting hard. I fantasize about having more with this person and am beginning to feel like a jealous would-be partner. Do I pretend everything is the same? Do I start distancing myself- hoping my feelings will go back to the way they were? Do I actually TALK directly and honestly with my friend about how I feel?

Or should I ignore my feelings, keep my boundaries in check and pretend everything is fine. By doing this, I might be able to deny my feelings so well that even I don't know what they are. I will also have to continue being comfortable on the sidelines while someone else has the relationship with this person that I desire. I will most likely be asked what I think of this or that person and be expected to be happy and supportive of my friend when he meet the right someone for himself. In return for all this, I will still have my friend.

Or should I continue the relationship with my own hidden agendas. If he become involved with someone else in the meantime, I can work to sabotage their new relationship or I can leave them wondering where all my anger and hurt feelings are coming from. I can spend a lot of time and energy handling it this way, without anything to show for my efforts but the loss of a good friend.

I’m really confused.

Friendship between two:

2008-08-05T11:26:00.000-07:00

Can there be anything like friendship between two people of the opposite sex? Many people think that this is impossible but I think that platonic relationship between a man and a woman is very healthy. You must agree with me that this is a new relationship phenomenon featuring in only this generation. The previous generations believed that opposite-sex friendships were potential to many marriages. Family and marriage therapists believe that the easiest opposite-sex friendships to maintain are the friendships which were established long before someone got married. Such relationships are not threatening since you had them before you were married.

There is no consensus how to develop friendship. It depends on the circumstances, lifestyle, and the length of the relationship. It is especially challenging in the male-female relations. A rapport between two people is influenced by certain conditions that determine its success or failure. The process is largely based on behaviors, reactions, and coincidences.

Friendship is a very valuable gift in life. It accompanies love, but it also can occur by itself. The important thing is the ability to separate the two categories of feelings, a challenging task in cases when two opposite genders are involved. Sometimes, the distinction may be outright impossible.

The entire process from the first meeting, though getting to know one another, and developing new emotions is lengthy. It's only up to the two individuals on what level their bonding stops.

The first meeting requires only a handshake; later long spontaneous conversations make time fly by in a wink without serious plans for the future. Subsequent more advanced levels of bonding allow for sharing deeper thoughts and emotions. This is when a male and a female start to express understanding, acceptance, admiration, affirmation, encouragement, and finally the need for intimacy. In some cases, friendship turns into jealousy, which indicates that the feeling was in fact love not friendship. Love and friendship are two beautiful feelings, as is the combination of thereof on one condition that one feeling does not destroy the other one. Intimate relationships born after long friendships are susceptible to more types of problems not obvious beforehand. A friend does not criticize for drunken outings, or scold for being late, or forbid to go out with friends for a beer or football game. In intimate relationships these become problems and are grounds for anger and dissatisfaction. Friendship teases love for love’s restrictions; and love complains that friendship stays away from it. As a result both feelings suffer.

Male-female friendships are very difficult. I don't claim that they are impossible, but they are rare. Such friendships are hard to keep unselfish and anything can happen...

Chances of friendships between a man and a woman would be better if friendship followed love not the opposite way. When the passionate love ends, the partners would still have very close friendship to hang onto. It is impossible to forget shared experiences especially when two people know about themselves everything. As it is said, friendship is one soul in two bodies.

It is also said that friendship between a man and a woman is like a walk along a very narrow land separating the bay of knowing one from the ocean of love. So, a high tide tends to flood the piece of land.

Silence behind my words.

2008-08-04T22:01:00.000-07:00

We chat lightly over at around one in the afternoon, my friend and I. He updates me on common friends. I ask questions and share newsy tidbits.

At times, the conversation slips into more serious spheres and I complains the problems that I faces juggling between me and him. My words form pictures in his mind as he listens carefully. Comments and insights bubble up; I hold them back, not sure that they are welcome. He was not always this careful while talking to me.

We moaned about arguments we had few days back. Increasingly, He found himself playing safe on anything that could be outside my comfort zone. I am reluctant to share observations on life, opinions, insights, and reasons for lifestyle choices, things that mean much to me, motivate me, and hurt me.

Our friendship spans over a decade. Staying in touch degenerated into a 'nice-to-have' at the bottom of our to-do lists for most of us.

Last night he woke up at midnight and gave me a call to wish me on my birthday. I apologized for that argument. But, there was still something I wanted to say.

He has noticed something wrong in our conversations. But he has not talked about it. But then, if he did, there would be no silence between us.

The Lonely Road

2008-08-01T11:47:00.000-07:00

So far, my life has been cruel.
It is like a never-ending duel .

It filled with nothing but pain and misery,

And keeps kicking me down mercilessly.

I walk the long dark road,

With a heart of painful code.

The code which is full of hurt,

That makes me feel like dirt.

I walk a long winding way

No matter how much I pray.

This road might never ends,

Perhaps I have more twists and bends.

I steped into a place,

With such an evil face.

Full of fear and hate,

Like if I have opened hell's gate.

But if I am strong enough to fight,

I will win the prize and win the light.

I will surly find the way,

and turn back into the day.

I will find a cure to this pain,

I will stop this rain.

I will end this darkness,

And find a cure for my lonliness.

That day I will get the prize,

I will foget my past and all the lies.

I will brake the painfull code,

Of the lonely road.

Relative Distance

2008-07-30T10:59:00.000-07:00

Those knuckles,

On that steering wheel,

In that car,

Across the street,

Touched my cheek,

Ran over my skin,

Once!

Watching them through the windows

His there, mine here,

And time slowed into this moment,

I could flash back so easily,

Into yesterdays of us.

But common sense comes to the rescue,

And says

“Press your panic button,

Tell those memories ‘No! ’”

So the traffic in my head goes crazy

While the street’s green light says go

Those knuckles,

With images inside – outside – my head,

Slide past,

As I move on my lane here,

Without glancing there,

Where they flex, Once,

[“I swear! ”]

And this car’s drawing closer to home

But I’m thinking of that detour

I’ll have to make to get a drink

Or whatever it’ll take

To feel desirably numb

It seems until these random moments,

Of relative distance between us,

Become nothing more than what they are,

I will dread these sadistic memory-stirring coincidences,

And try my best to … not look out for his car.

So long my friend!!!

2008-07-29T12:37:00.000-07:00

now’s the time to say goodbye
now’s not ours to question why
we have shared those special smiles
we have walked together more than just one little mile
and we will remember then

no one takes what memories make
no one breaks for break up’s sake
no one wants to hurt a heart
no one needs to be wandering for all eternity
just because things keep moving on

no one has to be wandering for all eternity
just because things keep moving on

sometimes you must take a stand
sometimes others won’t understand
sometimes you just can’t sit still
not because you don’t know the best direction you should go
just because things keep moving on

so long, my friend!!!

Never say goodbye!!!

2008-07-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

There isn't much I haven't shared

With you along the road
And through it all there'd always be
Tomorrow's episode
Suddenly that isn't true
There's another avenue
Beckoning the great divide
Ask no questions, take no side
Who's to say who's right or wrong
Whose course is braver run
Still we are, have always been
Will ever be as one

What is done has been done for the best
Though the mist in my eyes might suggest
Just a little confusion about what I'll lose
But if I started over I know I would choose
The same joy the same sadness each step of the way
That fight with me and teach me that Friends Never Say
GoodBye !!!

I, ME AND MYSELF

That Girl Is Me

Falling Apart

Necrophobia:

A Beautiful Person

A Boy or a Girl

Our Need for Meaning

When Someone You Love Has Hurt You

'The Eye' Movie Review

To compromise or not to compromise

Always and Forever

Two hearts, One love

Feelings of a New Bride

I Am Nervous About Getting Married

system crashed :(

Frustrated, Irritated, Disconnected

The Republic day of India

Is Sacrifices Necessary In Relationships?

A perfect pair

I wanna be free

Tired of Being Lonely

"You don't Understand"

How to be Happy and Have Fun Changing the World?

Over-passiveness can break relationship:

He mends me!!!

Things can be settled calmly in relationships

Moving too fast in relationship

Happy new year 2009

New Year New Life

रब ने बनादी जोड़ी( Rab ne bana di jodi)

Happiness

" Changes - A Quater Life Phenomena (Part 3)."

" Changes - A Quater Life Phenomena (Part 2)."

Mumbai is in terror.

THE NOTORIOUS MOSQUITO

ज़िन्दगी (Life)

" The Dreaming Dreamer "

The Ghost and the Darkness

Untitled

My Brother

Being Independent (part 1)

Being Independent (part 2)

" Changes " – A Quarter Life Phenomena

" Be Yourself "

"Portrait of a Friend"

Death of an Innocent

My mighty friend

It doen't intrest me...

People change.

Untitled Relationship

My dear Sis, ( ప్రియమైన చెల్లి)

Forever

Secret heart

आंखों ही आंखों में यूँ !

Missing my friend

" तेरे बारे में जब सोचा नहीं था " When I was not thinking of you

Heal My Broken Heart:

वोह एक वक़्त था (There was a time) !!!

I, ME and MYSELF

Do you know???

Frustration (2)

Nothing Remains

Frustration

Understanding others

Alone in the Woods

"In Another Life"

A true friend

My pen friend

Silent Friend

Your will power

When I was in love

From friend to a Stranger

Only Time

New Friend

*Bad Luck*

Before I go

Beach

A Walk in the Woods

Innocence

"Forbidden Dream"

Bad Luck