Love or Friendship:

He is my good friend. He is my best confidant. We have known each other more than a decade and have shared meals, movies, hobbies and vacations. We have confided to each other about our latest love interest and turned to one another for support when the relationship(s) failed. I can't imagine my life without my good friend.

But for a while...

I‘ve felt jealous of his dates. I've been overprotective of him since he has been seeing the jerk. I've been having very strong feelings of attraction and a desire for something more than friendship. Could it be that my feelings for him have grown into something more? If so, our relationship may have developed into a "friend crush".

I don't know what to do. I know I want to continue spending time together - more time. But it's getting hard. I fantasize about having more with this person and am beginning to feel like a jealous would-be partner. Do I pretend everything is the same? Do I start distancing myself- hoping my feelings will go back to the way they were? Do I actually TALK directly and honestly with my friend about how I feel?

Or should I ignore my feelings, keep my boundaries in check and pretend everything is fine. By doing this, I might be able to deny my feelings so well that even I don't know what they are. I will also have to continue being comfortable on the sidelines while someone else has the relationship with this person that I desire. I will most likely be asked what I think of this or that person and be expected to be happy and supportive of my friend when he meet the right someone for himself. In return for all this, I will still have my friend.

Or should I continue the relationship with my own hidden agendas. If he become involved with someone else in the meantime, I can work to sabotage their new relationship or I can leave them wondering where all my anger and hurt feelings are coming from. I can spend a lot of time and energy handling it this way, without anything to show for my efforts but the loss of a good friend.

I’m really confused.