January 10, 2009

Over-passiveness can break relationship:

When love generates in the initial stages each other wants to behave accordingly to their taste of their partner. When the closeness develops obviously one thinks that he/she belongs only to them which is generally known as passiveness, but it creates distance between both in the near future. Because in passiveness you demand everything should be done according to your wish or liking which surely hurts your partner. If your love wants to be strengthened try to give her/him more comfort from your end, so that she/he will be happy in your companionship and makes her/his mind only for you. If you are so caring for her/him, try to give more from your side by expecting less from your end. I think this type of attitude will surely built strong and healthy relationship.

Possessiveness will be counterproductive and may land you in grief in the long run. At that time it may be too late to even regret. While it could be construed as love from your side and may thrill your girl friend/boy friend/wife/husband no end for all the attention she/he is getting from you, in time to come it may prove an irritant to her/him. It would even put her/him off. She/he may come to resent it because that is when she/he will feel that you are monitoring her/his every action and deed. So go easy, and don't get over-possessive.

To possess means to own. Do we own our partner? Do we own their time? Are they our slaves? If you ask anybody these questions, you will hear a definite no. But some of those who say no may be very possessive about their partner. The relationship breaks down after sometime hurting both the partners very badly. Why are some people so possessive? Is that a complex of some kind? Are they afraid that their partner may be snatched away by somebody else? Or do they want their partner to spend all the time with them and no body else? Does suspicion come in to picture? Suppose you come across some emails of your partner. Would you look at them? Would you then ask your partner about the mails? What if your partner is late on a day? Are you happy to see them back or you are angry about their coming late? Do you demand the explanation for being late? If your partner is speaking on phone in a low voice, does that make you feel suspicious? Do you suspect that they may be speaking with their past lover? If someone sends an invitation to your partner for some party, do you insist that they should not go alone? Those who are possessive will try to control every minute of their partner’s life. They never allow the partner to use anything gifted to them by anybody else. They do not want the partner to talk about the past. They rather hate that. They treat themselves as the superior of their partner and try and control every activity. In the end the partner refuses to take this any more and the relationship breaks-up.


To love somebody is a great feeling. But the result of love should be pleasure for both the partners. If one partner feels like an animal in cage, that is not true love. This is how I am feeling these days.

7 comments:

Hemanth Potluri said...

the last para was awesome....love is a gr8 feeling :)...

urs..hemu..

Aparna said...

hmmm what about the rest of the post hems???

Yamini Meduri said...

nice post dear....!!!!

Your relation is not only special to you but almost all of your readers too....we get to know all those important things in life...

thank you dear....!!!

keep the good work going...!!!

Aparna said...

oh.. glad to know that yamini.. and thanks readind it intrestingly

Anonymous said...

bang on :)

someone turning relationship doctor :)

Aparna said...

ohh ma :O.. a doctor.. am not a doctor sam.. that was i felt during past few days..

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